purpose

Pupose and meaning are not one in the same. Purpose is inherent, it is unchanging, and it is unstopable. Meaning is a definative answer to purpose. Meaning is given, meaning is taken away, and meaning is, all importantly, changed. Meaning can be claimed to causality and reason. Meaning gives a measurable and short term purpose. However, the two are not one in the same. Purpose is to life what we do not know, and meaning is to life whay we desire and understand to be our existence.

The meaning of this blog was in effect to be a permanent journal or diary. Nothing like the drivel that blogs leak from desparate college students to dumb to have anything to say but still want a book deal. I occasionaly come back and look at all the things I have said and it startles me how clear and meaningfull it all is. I placed this online for the purpose of sharing the knowledge that I forget so easily, either out of pithy reluctance to accept or the fact that I cannot accept what I am doing with my life.  Two years ago the world was a clear picture of what I was and what I was to become, and now I see nothing but blurred resemblence to what I dreamed to be. There is nothing I hate more than what I am not. Don't get me wrong, there isn't a lot, just why waste time settling for anything. The second reason I kept this online was because that would make it secure, not from theft or deletion obviously, but from keeping me from believing what I say. And I also wouldn't have my mother finding a journal I have and absent mindedly throwing it away. Of course if she published it as a novel after I died I would come back and haunt her, so really it's for her benefit.

Conundrum

It's amazing what a picture is. A drawing from nature. I'm a little sick so I told some of grandpa's cough medicine to make the hurt seem a breeze. A picture is the same as the art we so casually glance at from whatever mural or painting or cliche artsy commercial we see. What is amazing about a picture is it is both a painting yet an anomaly. An artist can capture feeling in a picture but there are images within the picture that the artist can overlook, can be unaware of; because the image is a heartless scientific process that will occur every single time without hitch in the proper conditions. Because we have the least human interaction the most perfect image is formed, the man needs but to acquire the proper conditions of lighting and direction. And in that perfection one sees the truest image of the heart as man can see. Ultimately, it is an organization of the most close to perfect colors in the most perfect order to frame in reality, the same caricature of an oil pastel. Even the most perfect of pictures leaves an emptiness. Even the most perfect of pictures is not perfect. However the art is becomes is among the most perfect of art. It drives the expression of all the powerful emotions, good and bad. Fueling the most cruel of man's burdens, precitive knowlegde; what could have been. Feelings of the most perfect time.
It's almost like a dark ages. I have the capacity to do anything but I am cowardly and overly countering. This isn't the time for introspective reflection, Ifeel. I was content once in life. A liberating feeling of unlimited wealth. Complete satisfaction with achieving death at any moment. There is however a grave difference in pleading for death. I never have invited nor persuaded death to me. Nothing to be proud of or ashamed of I suppose. Perhaps I am missing out on a profound enlightening experience, or perhaps I have leapt over that stream of thought.

कारमेल अप्प्ले पोप्स

Caramel candy pops are the greatest Halloween candy in the world. I once bought a package of three at work and ate them all in a row. I offered them to other people but it seems that their interests lay in their "personal health" and "overall gastronomic comfort." Needless to say I did not poop for about a week and then it was green. That's the whole story.

Caramel pops are really a cop out of halloween candy. Of all the candies that are already covered in caramel you bring to the market fruit. I could have chocolate dipped caramel fudge nuggets for 69 cents that will explode in an orgasm of flavor in your mouth, or unwashed apples dunked in sugar and molasses at the price of fruit. Could they pick a worse element to dunk it in? What's too chewy to eat, too rubbery to lick, and too gay to put on anything except the shitty candy bowl and you grandma's house: Caramel. What are you going to do, put it in your lunchbox so it has time to melt all over your other food by noon? Way to ruin fruit now that I think about it. Like you're somehow eating healthier because you found and edible ladle to consume your sticky sugar lust.
Fuck it Candy apples suck.