Caramel candy pops are the greatest Halloween candy in the world. I once bought a package of three at work and ate them all in a row. I offered them to other people but it seems that their interests lay in their "personal health" and "overall gastronomic comfort." Needless to say I did not poop for about a week and then it was green. That's the whole story.
Caramel pops are really a cop out of halloween candy. Of all the candies that are already covered in caramel you bring to the market fruit. I could have chocolate dipped caramel fudge nuggets for 69 cents that will explode in an orgasm of flavor in your mouth, or unwashed apples dunked in sugar and molasses at the price of fruit. Could they pick a worse element to dunk it in? What's too chewy to eat, too rubbery to lick, and too gay to put on anything except the shitty candy bowl and you grandma's house: Caramel. What are you going to do, put it in your lunchbox so it has time to melt all over your other food by noon? Way to ruin fruit now that I think about it. Like you're somehow eating healthier because you found and edible ladle to consume your sticky sugar lust.
Fuck it Candy apples suck.
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ReplyDeleteI would have been terrible for her.Never has undeserving been such an understatement. Never will I forget the feeling I had. No drug has ever been able to duplicate, no occasion ever been able to replicate, not one person has been able to share. What purpose something so small and in the shadows can have. Perhaps it is the blanketed truth. The purpose left undiscovered and unquantified. Or even discoverd but unquantifiable. Leaving only to comprehend for the foolish and mad.
ReplyDeleteWhat truely drives me mad is the prospect of life's trivial nature. How nothing observably changes with death. How trivial I once regarded it, and how trivial I now have come to understand.