purpose

Pupose and meaning are not one in the same. Purpose is inherent, it is unchanging, and it is unstopable. Meaning is a definative answer to purpose. Meaning is given, meaning is taken away, and meaning is, all importantly, changed. Meaning can be claimed to causality and reason. Meaning gives a measurable and short term purpose. However, the two are not one in the same. Purpose is to life what we do not know, and meaning is to life whay we desire and understand to be our existence.

The meaning of this blog was in effect to be a permanent journal or diary. Nothing like the drivel that blogs leak from desparate college students to dumb to have anything to say but still want a book deal. I occasionaly come back and look at all the things I have said and it startles me how clear and meaningfull it all is. I placed this online for the purpose of sharing the knowledge that I forget so easily, either out of pithy reluctance to accept or the fact that I cannot accept what I am doing with my life.  Two years ago the world was a clear picture of what I was and what I was to become, and now I see nothing but blurred resemblence to what I dreamed to be. There is nothing I hate more than what I am not. Don't get me wrong, there isn't a lot, just why waste time settling for anything. The second reason I kept this online was because that would make it secure, not from theft or deletion obviously, but from keeping me from believing what I say. And I also wouldn't have my mother finding a journal I have and absent mindedly throwing it away. Of course if she published it as a novel after I died I would come back and haunt her, so really it's for her benefit.